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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test connected to a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {